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My Un-Bucket List

Yes, I have a bucket list. At least I do in my head. I really should write them down. They are so hard to scratch off where they are. But maybe more important is my un-bucket list. So here are my top ten things that I absolutely DO NOT want to do before I die. 1. Get kicked in the teeth. I use this expression all the time. When something unpleasant happens, I say, "Better than a kick in the teeth". And most things are. I've had something hit me in the teeth a few times. Not good. I can't imagine a kick in the teeth. Think I'll pass, if I can. 2. Throw up. Anyone that knows me knows that I can take an enormous amount of pain and not even flinch. Ask Jim about the day that I cut the end of my finger off. A big chunk. A third of the nail and all of the finger underneath. If I were to cut off one of my arms, I'd use the other one to drive myself to the hospital. Why bother those poor, busy ambulance people? But if I am nauseous I am a big whiny baby. I might die. And heaven forbid I would actually throw up. Look out. I think I've managed to throw up only about once every ten years up until this point in my life. So, what's that...like four times? ;) No more, please. 3. Eat stewed tomatoes. Especially warm ones. I had a very traumatic experience with warm stewed tomatoes as a child. Very bad. I never even want them in front of my face again. And if it were to happen that I were forced to eat them (by an entire army who tied me up and poured them down my throat), I would fail at numbers two and three simultaneously. Yuck! 4. Swim with sharks. I am really not good with water in the first place. I'm not sure I could save myself from drowning in a pool if the water were over my head. Seriously. I need to swim with a buddy and a pool noodle. I just can't seem to figure out when to breathe in, when to breathe out, and when to hold it. So I'm always sucking in water instead of air. That even happens to me in the shower sometimes. So I don't think that swimming with sharks would be advisable for me. 5. Ride in the back of a pickup truck in Haiti, going really fast around the mountains back in the country. I tried this once, and didn't like it. There must have been twenty of us packed into the back of that truck. Only a few of us were adults, and we were barely. Brother Shrive, the missionary we were there to help, was driving. There was only enough room for one vehicle at a time flying around those sharp curves on that dirt road hanging off the side of that mountain. Heaven forbid someone would have been coming the other way. Guard rails? Ha! You don't know Haiti. I kept praying and telling myself that it must be safe. Bro Shrive wouldn't put our lives in danger. He must know what he's doing. When we finally arrived at our destination, the missionary asked me how I liked that ride in the back of that pickup. I told him it had been very scary. His reply? "Yeah, I always pray the whole way, 'cause I'm sure that one day me and that truck are gonna go right down the side of that mountain." I was only twenty-two. I wished I were not a grown up and could continue to live in my fantasy that the man of God was all-together-wise. Going back to Haiti is on that bucket list in my head. But I plan to travel around the mountains in a Jeep. With seats. And seatbelts. 6. Watch boxing. Or wrestling. Bleh! So unappealing to me. 7. Break a bone. I fractured my leg one time. I was at The Wilds. The same place as the slippery slope (find the blog post on discouragement). I had been whitewater rafting. We overturned in the midst of HUGE whitewater. I managed to get back into the raft and get safely back on shore. Then I fell off the bus. Have I mentioned lately that I'm not very athletic? I think that's in the discouragement post, too. Anyway, I don't want to break anything else. I'm dealing with quite enough brokenness without throwing in another bone. 8. Live in a glass house. I need blinds. And curtains. And sometimes I feel the need to throw a stone. 9. Get to where I don't care. I get teased about this. That sounds better than saying that my family makes fun of me. It would appear by the standards of others that I care too much. Like there is something wrong with my empathy gene. Perhaps it's overactive. But I love easily and have great compassion for others. I have seen so many become cold and apathetic, and I'd rather overdo it than care too little. Even if my kids ask me every few days if my newest new friend is coming to Thanksgiving dinner this year. 10. Fail the Lord. I know that this one is impossible this side of heaven. I fail Him every day. But I can try. I can try my very best. :)

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