Did you ever read something in your devotional or something that someone wrote, and days or weeks later that thought was still lingering? That happens to me all the time, and I'd like to think that it's the Lord speaking to me. There are other ways He speaks to me that are very clear and I know it's Him. We've talked about it before. But most of the time this small, lingering thought thing turns out to be Him, too. His still small voice.
That has happened to me several times of late. And this morning, as I was writing to a friend, something from a recent devotion clicked, and it took on a new meaning. God told me something. Something big about myself.
The statement was made in the devotion. "Put God's needs first." I've been pondering it ever since. God's needs.
Jesus was preparing for Passover. He was preparing for his death. Even that sentence seems ridiculously inadequate. Death comes to all men. This was not death like us. This was agonizing physical pain. But even that has been experienced by others. Jesus' death was unlike any other. He would suffer something that we cannot even comprehend, let alone experience. He bore my sin. He who knew no sin. And God the Father could not look upon Him. God the Father turned His head, and could not look upon His dear Son. So great was Jesus' love for me!
But before that, Jesus told two of his disciples to "go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them." ~Matthew 21:2-3
We could talk about so many things, but my thought today is a simple one. "The Lord hath need..."
That is not a thought that comes easily to me. I am the one with all of the needs. God is the supplier of those needs. But God's ways are past finding out. (Romans 11:33) And God has needs.
The devotion pointed out that we think that we are serving God and doing for Him by being obedient to what He tells us to do. We have work to do. We must go win the lost. We serve. All good. We see as our obedience 'to do'. To do something.
But there is more. Something greater. A thought almost too deep for me to grasp. Jesus gave us the example. His obedience was more than 'to do'. It was 'to be'. To be the will of His Father.
Jesus needed His disciples to wait and watch with Him as He prayed with such agony in the garden before His death. "Watch and pray." But they failed. I would have, too. They failed to do what Jesus needed. "Tarry ye until..." God's needs.
God needs me. I would have thought that to be a prideful statement until now. But it is probably the most humbling thought of my life. God needs me to be in Him. Not to do. That comes naturally if you get the first. Even as I write it, words are inadequate. To be in Him. Not just in salvation or in service or even in fellowship. To be in Him. Loss of myself in Him. It's wonderful and glorious. To be lost in Him. God's needs met in me!
And suddenly, there is an explanation for every suffering and every heartache. Every unexplainable thing I've been through. Every dark and terrifying night. Those things that you've been told that you will never understand here on earth. The explanation. God working in me, to teach me this incredible truth. And then nothing else matters. Nothing but the desire to fulfill God's need.
"The Lord hath need..." God hath need of me!
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