Prepared For Battle
Something amazing happened yesterday with the blog. Something that caused me to immediately weep. I was given a recognition and honor that I never would have thought possible when this website was first launched. And then I had great need to immediately get alone with God, for I had crossed over into very dangerous territory. God had prepared me just a few days before. I love how He is that way with me. He always prepares me. Just like I would never send my child off on a cold winter's day when there's a forecast of snow with just a sweater and sneakers. No, I send them off prepared. Me: Wear your boots and take your hoodie. You might need it later under your coat. And grab your scarf. Them: But Momma, the sun is shining and my feet get hot in boots. And that scarf is dumb. Me: Stop cussing and do as I say. I want you to be prepared and snow is coming. And sometimes I wouldn't bother with that last line. I'm the mother and I am looking out for you. I know what's coming and I know what's best. I am protecting you and I expect you to trust me. That's how He is with me. And sometimes I'm just like my kids. How He convicts me of that! My Sunday School lesson just three days ago was on pride. Pride is the entire premise upon which this website and blog was born. My struggle with pride, and how God taught me complete emptiness and weakness. Pride is self and flesh. To be empty of self so that God can use me. God's Strength Made Perfect In My Total and Complete Weakness. Only that was way too long. :) 1 John 2:16~ "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." I'll write on it again soon. It's on my heart BIG now. So God knew what was coming. I was going to receive the praise of men that would be an honor and a delight. First He prepared me. Then He tested me. Tests are never for the purpose of God seeing what you will do. He already knows. Tests sent by God are for our edification. They challenge and strengthen us. We need to see what our response will be. We need to know that struggle. We need to feel the victory that comes from giving that thing over to God. And so I ran to Him. I emptied out really fast. The praise and honor are all His and I know it. Nothing of me. I abide in Him. I love it here. And I cannot stay unless I'm empty.
Then I put a video of this song being sung on my facebook wall:
I want Jesus in my life More than anything this world can offer me; For I know that He alone can satisfy. Just to know His leading in my life Is worth everything that I might sacrifice;
Oh I want Jesus more than anything!
Take the fame that I might want And all the things that seem so dear; I'd rather have Him than any praise That men may give to me. I want Him to have control And be the breath of life in me; I'd rather have Jesus, I'd rather have Him than anything!
And then I hit that replay button at least twenty-five times.
I'll battle it again tomorrow, and then again the day after that, unless God calls me home. And then, no more battle. Then I can touch His face. Tears. The right kind.